MEN! As un-observant as they may seem, they often leave a lady wondering what goes on in their minds. Especially when you are all dressed up to go out and they give you a look which leaves you baffled; or ask a question which seems more like a statement leaving you uncertain about that new hairdo you thought you were rocking, or that bright, pink lipstick you chose to wear.
And if you commit the cardinal sin of asking for an explanation, you basically put yourself in a state more confused than you were before you caught “the look”. And when they give a compliment which seems … incomplete … you are twitching and itching to ask what it actually meant!
FUCHSIA decided that enough is enough, and carried out a survey to find out once and for all. A variety of gentlemen, from the seemingly-disinterested I.T geek to the style-focused artsy guy, the kind-and-doting husband and, not to forget, the quiet-but-observant partner spoke to us about what they like, what they want and what they really wish would disappear (but dare not say!).
Us: Do you like that new red lipstick?
“What red lipstick?”, a very plain “yes” and an “Oh! That one.” were the responses.
FUCHSIA says: If you’re comfortable wearing it, apparently it’s not something they hate, so go for it.
Us: She stands before you with coloured eyeliner which matches each outfit – your thoughts on this?
“No… smoky koel-laced eyes do the trick each time,” said the artsy one. “No!” said the rather serious fellow. “You wear coloured eyeliner?” said the horrified one from behind the computer screen.
FUCHSIA says: Maybe, go easy on those brightly-coloured liners and mascaras when out-and-about with the other half.
Us: What tickles your fancy – her looking comfy in flip-flops, fit in trainers, or sassy in stilettos?
Oohh, did the men smile at this question.
Ladies, the unanimous vote for stilettoes with a gleam in the eyes means that something about those high heels makes the men merry.
FUCHSIA says: Care to keep those flip flops for walks by the beach and the trainers for visits to the gym?
Us: Do you prefer her as a traditional desi gal, or does the Western diva look work for you?
This one was well distributed: Eastern, Western, or as our doting husband said, “Both!”
FUCHSIA says: Can’t help you much here, ladies – you will have to keep a close eye on the cuts and colours he likes.
Us: Hair up or down? Funky, straight, wavy? Do you have a better style in mind?
The Men: “Down, untied … revealing her face.”, “Hair up, revealing her face.”, “Hair off her face.”, “Up or down, it bothers me a bit when it’s covering her face.”
FUCHSIA says: I think you get the message.
Us: Do you feel like she overdresses, underdresses, or is always immaculately dressed?
The Men: “Always dressed immaculately, even in a track suit,” said the doting husband. “As long as stilettos are there, even gym lowers will do,” said the obviously-obsessed-with-high-heeled-beauties, “Overdressed,” said the honest spectator, and “You look nice when you dress up; you should do that more often,” said the IT dude.
FUCHSIA says: ladies, looks like less is more!
Us: The one thing you wish wasn’t part of her otherwise-endearing personality.
The Men: “Nothing – wish I could ask her the same about me,” said ONLY ONE MAN. The rest unanimously said “Mood swings” while one said “Her shoes lying in the middle of the room.”
FUCHSIA says: Don’t fret, ladies. It isn’t us. It’s the hormones! 😉
Us: She pays you a compliment – do you like the attention?
The majority of The Men said “Yes!” but shared that “It rarely happens.”
FUCHSIA says: Hmmm … how about we show our other half we noticed those new cufflinks, or appreciate his sense of humour with our laughter?
Us: Do you like the jewellery she chooses to wear, or do you find those chunky rings and dangling earrings overwhelming?
We weren’t too surprised with “Sometimes.”, “Don’t really notice.” and “No comments.”, but what took our breath away was “Just solitaires in her ears which matches the sparkle in her eyes.”
FUCHSIA says: Time to go buy solitaires to match the sparkle in your eyes. Warning! It might not match the look in his eyes due to sudden shock or distress.
Us: The two of you are heading out together for date-night. It’s not formal so would you rather she slips into something comfortable, or look fashionably tip-top?
“Comfort,” said the IT dude. “Fashion,” said the arty one. “Toned-down fashion which is comfortable to wear,” said the doting husband, and “Comfortable but neat,” said the majority.
FUCHSIA says: So, anything half decent, tidy and comfortable so they don’t have to hear us whine.
With FUCHSIA’s random set of questions, we realise that The Men really aren’t that complicated at all. At the end of the day, it really is all about paying close attention to what that special man in your life wants. And, it might just help if, instead of guessing, anticipating, assuming and jumping to conclusions, you simply ask. (Try not to make it sound like a trick question where, whatever he says, he will get into trouble!)
And finally, don’t forget to notice the effort he makes when he goes the extra mile. It seems with the men little compliment can go a long way ladies.
Falak Amaar Khan is a member of Team FUCHSIA, heading the Fashion section in her capacity as a fashion designer, stylist and choreographer. As a writer, Falak covers fashion, community and entertainment. This super busy mother of two is working towards supporting a cause through her work. She would also love to integrate more into the Singaporean community, and explore the island in a more realistic manner.
Her motto in life? GET ON WITH IT!