So the Oscars 2019 happened yesterday and while everyone held their breath to see who won in which category, I was too busy gasping (in shock) and cringing at the parade of coloured nets, frills, ruffles, and some very PINK clothes. Now either some of the stars weren’t informed that this carnival…(sorry I mean Oscars) had a theme or it was a panel of designers and stylists that thought it would be a laugh to dress some stars in a 5 year old’s fantasy, costume/cocktail/what on earth are these even called – Dresses? And pink ruffles seem to be contagious this year.
Linda Cardellini, the Oscar’s nominated “Green Book” actress wore a heap of frills with a “last ribbon left in the gift wrapping box”! She looks like a lost Flamingo…No sorry! Flamingos are actually elegant birds and this chick isn’t looking very chic.
That’s all I’m going to remember about her from Oscars 2019 till something more horrifying than this comes up.
Country singer Kacey Musgraves caught a case of the Cardellinis in a Giambattista Valli gown and it literally looked like the tutu my daughter owned when she was 5! Infact the “Soapandglory” Loofah in my bathroom might as well have been the inspiration behind this dress for Oscars 2019.
Ocean’s 8 star Sarah Paulson stepped on the Red Carpet in a Brandon Maxwell puffy hot pink dress. And my theory is that the Poncho/cape style top shrunk while being steam ironed and they had to connect it to the unimpressive skirt below with a quick nip tuck. And is that a rubber band to cinch in the waist?
Finally a breath of pink-free fresh air! Lady Gaga in a beautiful black gown breaking away from the horrifying parade of Pink Candy on Oscars 2019…hold on! Did she dislocate her hips!
What is that? Is that a memory foam pillow? Ok NOW I’ve seen everything!
Oscars 2019 Best Supporting Actress nominee Rachel Weisz for “The Favourite” in a bright red Givenchy Couture two-piece design featuring a shiny latex caplet layered over an embroidered gown with sparkling embellishments. Did it work? NO! And I’m still questioning her decision to don a bizarre cropped red rain coat as a top! Pray tell what happened to the real bodice?
Emma Stone also nominated for Oscar 2019 Best Supporting Actress angered some bees by wearing their honeycomb home as a gown. Some stars have reportedly admitted to developing an appetite for breakfast after she stepped on the Red Carpet!
Gemma Chan from Crazy Rich Asians, who inspired us with each and every one of her looks in CRA caught some Nazar (A case of the Evil Eye) cuz this isn’t even possible. This voluminous neon PINK (again) dress (if I may call it a dress) was smocked, stitched, smocked like those lightweight summer quilts and it seems like that was the inspiration behind this.
Maya Rudolph wore ruffles + high neckline + cape + pink + florals = You need to sack your stylist!
Because this is a cross between a curtain, a lampshade and Vintage style drapery!
Constance Wu from Crazy Rich Asians looks radiant in a Disney Princess “Belle” Costume! Well whatever it is, it seems charming compared to all the other nets, frills and ruffles! And she genuinely seems to be loving it so we will also try our best!
Pose star and Tony Award winner Billy Porter in a black velvet tuxedo gown takes the cake! So far this is the most outrageously stylish gown I have come across! Or is it that everything that we’ve seen so far has set the bar so low…or confused my style sense!