Meray Pass Tum Ho – The ARY Drama that is making headlines for questionable content, a spine-chilling story line, a Pakistani husband that makes all husbands squirm in their seats, AND a husband that makes all Pakistani wives ask – is he for real? Yes, we’re talking about none other than Danish of Meray Pass Tum Ho, played by our industry veteran and top league player, Humayun Saeed.
Interesting to note that Humayun does not take on a project till he’s convinced of its viability, which is why we were all questioning the wisdom of projecting a cheating wife’s tale onto TV audiences. However the same viewers are now held spellbound by the dramatic twists and turns in the plot. And … to top it all, the winner has been, ironically, the loser in the game so far – Danish, the husband who is cheated on, whose wife leaves him for another man, whose career is not really going anywhere.
Despite his personal failures, Danish might just move the goalposts for many married men in Pakistan. He is the character that trusts and loves first, and is willing to sacrifice control over being with the woman he loves. And if that love is not returned, he is even willing to give her up for the sake of her happiness. Many of us choose to see him as a ‘WEAK” man, and most in our society will.
Mard ho tau mard ban ke dikhao – we’ve heard that one a lot. And being a ‘mard’ means using your hands instead of your head, reacting first, and thinking later, (as Asher in Humsafar).
So, you ask, what does he have to offer that is so outstanding that I dedicate an entire article to him? Read on for all will be revealed, shortly:
1. Keeping things calm and not always in control
Keep calm and carry on – this seems to be Danish’s motto in life. When his wife went on a trip without his knowledge, when she took up a job and when he suspected but did not know for sure, if things were a bit dodgy with her boss – Danish did not lose his temper. Instead, he spoke to her calmly, explained that he was worried about her and even reconciled: let’s forget what happened and move on.
We have been so used to watching Pakistani husbands slamming the door, throwing the wife out on the streets, (the woman begging for forgiveness) and expecting the worst from him, that we were pleasantly surprised to witness a different reaction from a Desi husband – a positive, cool and calm one for a change – a mature one for sure.
His love superseded his Alpha DNA and his izzat ka sawaal was left out of the equation as he struggled to cope with the hurt and confusion he felt inside. But that was his struggle, and he didn’t need to vent it on her. And that, desi husbands, is the way to respond when you’re not sure of the situation.
2. The husband who makes an omelet for his child
When the wife’s away on a business trip, Danish is the Pakistani husband who willingly walks into the kitchen to make a meal out of an egg and a frying pan so that his child can eat when the wife is not home.
The man who is a) not expecting his wife to plan, cook and prepare meals before she leaves for her job, and b) who does not resort to unhealthy fried food from the bakery downstairs, but feeds him good, wholesome anda omelet when it is the need of the hour.
How many wives are nodding their heads and saying: ‘yay! That’s my man!’ And how many Pakistani men are going – ‘What? Not only do we let them go on a trip but we also keep house when they’re not around! Thora zyaada tau nahin hogaya Danish bhai?‘
3. Waiting to get home early from work
Danish is the Pakistani husband who wants to rush home from work so he can be greeted by his wife at the door, and share a cup of chai with her! What? It’s been 7 or 8 years since you were married and you STILL feel like that? Oh well. We hope the younger generation is listening. It’s the simple things in life that keep a marriage going and that chai ka cup is seriously on top of our list!
Meray Paas Tum Ho – Do Our Dramas Need An Adult Rating?
Ask any desi married couple, and they will tell you that they chill over chai, esp. after they’ve lost their temper on each other. Chai solves everything, so look forward to it every evening and come home early husbands, to meet that smile at the door!
4. The Pakistani husband who trusts
Danish is a husband who believes that society can take advantage of his wife. That she might make a mistake ‘unknowingly’, and ‘unknowing mistakes’ can be forgiven.
Shuk and shuba breed negativity and Danish seems to be the opposite of that – the opposite of most desi reactions to the emancipated wife conundrum.
5. Letting go of someone who is not yours anymore – the selfless kinda love!
When he realized she wanted to leave him, he let her go. Danish could not show hate, or anger towards a wife who had betrayed him because all he saw was the smile on her lips when she was with a person she preferred to be with.
Okay, so a lot of flak for this I will receive, I know! And yes, husbands like Danish are unreal, unimaginable, only a work of fiction – maybe? Lekin, dil ko khush rakhne ko, Ghalib yeh khayaal acha hai!
Maybe it’s okay for men to sit back and think about what this character means for the quality of their relationships. If men like Danish exist, will society allow them to do what they want to? To be kind and trusting towards their wives? Or will they peer pressure them into reacting?
If men like Danish exist will they now feel that they will be short-changed and their wives will behave like Mehwish and betray them if they trust too much? If men like Danish exist will they now feel they have the courage to BE like Danish, society be damned – and finally, if men like Danish do NOT exist, will they dare to exist now? Will they change their mindsets to change the game and redefine what it means to be a desi husband?
Let’s follow up on Episode 13, 14 and 15 of Meray Pass Tum Ho to know where this one’s going!
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