The Supreme Court has defined a woman’s dowry (Jahez) as her personal property. Will this help change archaic mindsets or will we devise other, (sneakier) ways to demand gifts from our daughter inlaw’s family? The battle against Jahez might be won, but only half way there, so far. We’ll tell you why.
After unending appeals & sponsored anti-Jahez campaigns to throw light on a prejudiced practice that has taken lives, livelihoods & perpetuated horrific domestic crimes, women are finally set free, at least by the law. Let’s see how long it takes for mindsets to follow through after the Supreme Court ruling
Der Aaye Lekin Durust Aaye, however, it’s easier to change the law than to change mindsets.
The Supreme Court Ruling
The Pakistan Supreme Court has ruled that bridal gifts remain wife’s property & cannot be taken away.
- Gifts given to the bride at the time of marriage are her personal property, and they cannot be taken away from her, according to Sharia law.
2. Husbands should make an inheritance will for their wives.
3. “A woman’s right to inherit from her parents and husband is clearly defined in [Islamic law].” Justice Isa
Here’s Why The Jahez Battle Will Still Wage On
Although your daughter might now feel entitled to ( and owner of), the gifts you give her on her wedding day, there’s no stopping her in laws from demanding gifts for themselves as well. As aptly depicted in Drama Dil Na Umeed Toh Nahi (which mirrors real life narratives), the boy’s family might demand a motorbike from the bridegroom. Furthermore, demands for expensive watches, attire for the wedding day, a present for the groom’s mother are expectations rooted into the very heart of our society.
The story sometimes continues to the time when the first child is born, and the girl’s family is expected to cough up presents, sometimes jewelry as well, for the mother in law (or the new dadi). It goes without saying, that our society works on the peripherals of the law and we manage to extricate ourselves from the final judgement by justifying traditions rather being mindful of the law.
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What is the solution?
Perhaps a closer look at the marriage contract (Nikah Nama) is in order. In a society that is swift to quote the Quran on multiple occasions, do we lose sight of its teachings when we get our daughters & sons married?
Perhaps families of influence need to set a standard that shuns unnecessary and lavish gifts, perhaps parents with daughters must stand their ground and give their daughter the self esteem to value themselves rather than the material belongings they carry with them to their husband’s home – perhaps it is a long struggle yet – perhaps young men need to tell their families they will not accept any material gain from their wife’s family, perhaps it is our youth that will eventually change mindsets.
Tell us … Do you think declaring Jahez as the wife’s legal property rather than banning it altogether is a smarter way to bring about change? Will it determine potential in laws from demanding it? Or will we find new ways of devaluing our daughters?
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Shazia likes to pen her thoughts when she feels passionately about a life experience, a person or an event. She is mother to 3 lively boys and along with her husband, attempts to settle in her new country by taking German lessons so she is able to soak in the culture, language and spirit of the region.
“Wake up in the morning, take a deep breath and exhale! Keep on living with a passion that inspires others! “
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