Desi Twitter was flooded with red flags today 🚩🚩🚩 and can we blame them? Red flags usually pop up in the early throes of dating someone, but sometimes they’re just anything that makes you feel icky or makes your spidey senses tingle – and it’d be best if you paid heed and ran for the hills 🏃♀️.
We’ve all heard at least one of these statements from people at least once in our lives and I’m pretty sure ignoring it was the biggest mistake we ever made! From the basic “you’re the only guy/girl I talk to” to the “main dekh kar delete kardunga” – we’ve all been there for at least some of it. However, some of us made out the other end better, wiser and learnt how to keep receipts (*the screenshot folder makes up at least 5 GB of the storage on my phone*).
Some people, however, are still salty and have taken to Twitter to impart the best advice I’ve seen on the platform since well, forever. Here are some gems that we picked out for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.
1) People In Their 20s Who Still Use Snapchat
I know you’re offended but please sit down. Call me boring/cautious/the most intelligent person you’ve ever met – but anyone still using Snapchat in their 20s is a MAJOR red flag. We all know nothing good ever happened on Snapchat after the dog filter. These days the “youth” use it to send unsolicited nudes, love confessions that you can’t screenshot or save without them knowing (so what’s the point???), and the most abhorrent in my opinion – ab selfies at the gym. Kind sir, I do not want to see your bare, sweaty torso – please have mercy on my eyes. Not surprisingly, Pakistani women have picked up on this and Snapchat made everyone’s list of being a red flag.
This is your cue to uninstall Snapchat and meet people the old-fashioned way – sliding into those Facebook DMs.
2) The Good Ol’ Relationship Mumbo-Jumbo & Gaslighting
There’s nothing like pitting women against one another to make them feel insecure and lose their self-worth. Men often say dodgy one-liners to put women up on a pedestal (which in reality is a rickety chair with one leg about to break at any moment under your weight) and make them lose sight of all the red flags that are glaringly obvious.
Men giving extra respect to women they feel attracted to is such a massive red flag. They’re basically saying that only women they find attractive or can possibly end up with are worth being polite to, and anyone else in the female populace can rot under the sun.
“I’m kinda clingy” is code for I’ll text/video call you at random times to check if you’re cheating on me and you won’t be able to call me out on it because I’m “quirky and soooo in love with you”. Please. Block them.
Whenever anyone says don’t worry about it, you should worry about it.
When people you’ve just become online friends with are asking you to meet, it’s not weird. It becomes weird when you’ve had only one convo – about something trivial, like what’s the best garlic mayo brand, and they feel like you are now soulmates and want to meet you in person so they can win you over. I’ll pass. Thanks.
“Share your social media passwords”. How about you send me your social security number, your Debit card pin and give me the key to your house. Boy, bye.
3) Free Labour Under The Guise Of An Internship
Nothing like good old exploitation. Aahh makes you feel pumped in the morning when you think about all the people you’re going to profit off of. It took me a while to understand the gimmick run by many reputable organisations and companies in Pakistan (and around the world). Hey, don’t get me wrong, a slightly lower salary is okay if you don’t have any experience and they’re teaching you things you didn’t know prior and you’re on the track for full-time employment. However, if they’re paying you peanuts, you’re not learning anything and they’re not planning on increasing your salary/stipend after your initial three months – you need to leave and try your luck somewhere else. Because ignoring these red flags won’t only put you back financially, it’ll also end up depleting your confidence and self-esteem over time.
4) The Wild Card Category
This is a hodgepodge section of relatively harmless red flags that won’t put you on edge but should make you wary of the person nonetheless. Plus they’re hilarious just the same, for us anyway…
When anyone says they don’t need therapy but friends, it’s double-talk for “I will emotionally deplete you with my problems, will ignore any solutions you propose and blame you for all my bad choices”.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S fans are a cult. I’m never going to change my mind about it. I mean sure it might be funny, but I’ve never made it past the first episode to find out. I mean good for you for putting up with that obnoxious laugh track. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
I don’t like chai either, or coffee for that matter. Maybe I am toxic?
Lol, this was the biggest lie we’ve all heard growing up. it never gets easy, you just get desensitized over time and learn to work harder :’).
Well, desi twitter offered its hot take on red flags, what are some of the ones you’ve identified and avoid like the plague? Let us know.
Areesha Khan harbours a burning passion for writing. This is what she has to say for herself:
I’m your average Pakistani Millennial who loves binge watching trash-TV. When I can, I try to widen my horizons and watch profound works of cinematography as well. In the wild, I can be found sniffing my weathered paperbacks. I regularly obsess over true crime (much to the chagrin of my friends) and love discussing it unprompted. I’m currently working on my undergrad and would love to have a profession in print media.
View my Portfolio: https://areeshakhancontentwriting.journoportfolio.com/
Come say HI on Twitter: @AKhanWrites