Sar e Rah: Intersex Individuals & Why It’s Insensitive To Give Your Personal Opinion About Someone Else’s Body!
Dear Maria B. the world of intersex individuals is a very divided world. Where at one point you want to go play football, the other moment you might want to play dress up. A young person who is grappling with the reality of being intersex does not want to draw attention to the one thing everyone is talking about the moment they know he’s not a man, or a woman completely.
And that is exactly what Sarang’s dad told him to do. He told him to forget about everything else and just study. All else will come later. He told him to change what he can for now, what is in his control, and all the rest, will come later. What an uplifting message not just for Sarang but for all of us, looking on, who try to, but often, fail to find the right words in a situation such as this one.
Let’s celebrate the fact that Sar e Rah started the conversation
Dear Maria B. Gender corrective surgery is advisable to be carried out at a later age in life and only after the individual has decided which gender he or she chooses to affirm. So, let’s celebrate the fact that Sar e Rah started a conversation.
Even a parent cannot tell a child which gender he/she should pick, sometimes the child him/herself, even when grown up, might stay confused (unless there is an obviously prevalent gender). Sometimes the child might depict overtly female physical characteristics but develop male characteristics during puberty. Everything has a time, and one has to be patient with nature.
If you really want to make a difference, perhaps. celebrate the father for encouraging & teaching his son & every child who is challenged or ‘special’ in our society to steer clear of negativity & acquire education – the one thing that will help him survive everything else life throws at him?
Sarang’s father did the one thing that all intersex individuals need – he did not pressurize his child to take decisions on what he might not be fully ready to comprehend or decide. Instead, he helped him focus on positivity (his gifted memory), factors in life that he has control over, namely, his education. What a stellar example to offer society!
If you did want to call out mindsets, then this is what you can start with
Dear Maria B., tell off the mother who dressed up her stepson in dupatta, bangles and lipstick and made him dance, telling him that’s all he’s good for?
If you did want to lay on the criticism? Perhaps you could have called out the dad for not educating his ‘other’ son to be kind and accepting towards children like Sarang? So that we can be a more supportive & wholesome society?
Awareness About Gender Corrective Surgery
Dear Maria B., how come you are not aware that people who do undergo gender corrective surgery in Pakistan are still, never accepted by society, made fun of, and often have to change their neighborhood, livelihood and friends & family. This option is not possible for many who do not have the financial access or mental, emotional and physical stamina to go through such a grueling life experience and when they do, even that does not guarantee they will be able to survive and live happily ever after.
Would you? Could you?
How about using your platform to spread awareness about the issue, our prejudices and misconceptions about intersex individuals and their life challenges rather than mixing intersex and LGBTQ as one and the same. Incidentally, it is the I in LGBTQI that stands for intersex, and the people who are intersex have some very challenging, arduous times ahead of them. They need your support, not by telling them how they should treat their bodies, but just by accepting who they are.
Should We be Telling people What To Do With Their Bodies?
Dear Maria B., you cross a very sensitive line by telling people what they should do with their bodies. Just because they are intersex and different from the rest of us, does not mean we have a right to tell them what to do with their body. Are they, in fact, children of a lesser God? Like I said … where at one point they want to go play football, the other moment they might want to play dress up. Give them that space to grow up in a safe, supportive, positive environment just like the rest of the children in our world – they are free to decide what they want to do with their bodies, when they want to do it, when they are physically, emotionally and mentally capable to decide, if they want to, and they can consult medical personnel on the best way forward.
Our society, that is grappling with terms such as transgender, intersex and LGBTQI … needs to learn to not trample over the rights of those individuals who need our help and who have been made by the same God that made the rest of us.
If you do want to raise your voice, raise it in support of those who cannot speak, be the voice that will combat biases, inform others, raise awareness and help spread tolerance and acceptance for marginalized sections of a society we must own and include as our own. Do not tell them how to live, instead, learn to live with them and teach others do the same.
If you really want to use your platform to spread a message, spread one that’s worth spreading!
Sar e Rah is a captivating mini-series on ARY Digital, directed by Ahmed Bhatti and written by Adeel Razzaq. With four episodes aired already, the show explores various societal dilemmas and offers positive and meaningful solutions to them. Each episode delves into a particular issue, highlighting the struggles faced by the characters and ultimately resolving them in a heart warming and uplifting way. Tune in to Sar e Rah to witness the power of compassion, empathy, and community in tackling real-life problems in a positive manner.
For more information on the topic, click here.
Please note, for all those seeking additional information on the topic of intersex individuals and the options and life choices as well as medical options open to them via religious solutions have been answered well and comprehensively in the following research paper.
Additionally, given that there is modern theoretical backing for gender variance beyond a strict binary, and precedent from traditional Islamic legal texts that indicate a gender beyond the binary, it is possible that in some cases a wholly accurate male or female designation cannot be made. Indeed where biological determination is inconclusive, it may be appropriate for an individual to carry on in life without fitting into a gender binary as male or female, and society should accommodate for this gender ambiguous position as something that is normal, even if not very commonly seen, as discussed in Kitāb al Khunthā. This idea may not be easily fit into all societies, including Muslim ones where a strict gender binary is deemed normative, but nonetheless Islamic texts presuppose the notion.
The Journal of British Islamic Medical Association
Please read the full research paper from The Journal of British Islamic Medical Association so you can better understand the multi faceted approach and complex situation that a person experiences and how the solution is also multi faceted and not as simple as we would like to believe.
