‘Marriage is a 2-way street’ – yeah, heard that one before, BUT the street throws different challenges, or shall I say, a different set of traffic rules for the 2 parties driving? Here are a few things you must know before you get married!
Let’s just dive into it full on instead of mincing words. Thank me later as I tell you some long-kept (open) secrets about what you should know pre and post marriage about the trials of a new relationship. This is not to scare you, but rather, to prepare you so you’re not caught off guard. Yeah, Aunty Mufta Advice at your doorstep once again!
1. Visit The Gynaecologist
First Things First – Marriage involves a physical relationship. Oh, you didn’t know? Let me guess, no one told you, right? Here’s the thing. It’s a good idea to visit a gynaecologist before the big day. In fact, a few months before the big day would be ideal. I would go so far as to say, ahem, barring the fallout from aunties brigade, consult your husband to be if he’d like to come along, or visit his doctor too?
Discuss family planning options, get a check-up (if needed) and any apprehensions you have in your mind. You can always get a referral from a married friend or sister who can recommend you one you might feel comfortable with. Also, it’s a great idea to know one before you tie the knot so that post-marriage when you do need one, you already have one – yes, thank me later!
2. You Might Be Prone To UTIs after intercourse
Yes, it happens, and it’s nothing unusual. You don’t have to stop having sex to prevent UTIs. Here are some steps you can take to minimize bacteria buildup and reduce your risk of getting UTIs from sex.
Urinate before sex and promptly after. This will flush your system and keep bacteria that has entered your urinary tract from gaining a foothold. Clean your genital and anal areas (wiping front to back only) before and after sex.
3. Drink A Glass Of Water After
Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water, then have an extra glass after intercourse. This will help rid your urinary tract of unwanted bacteria. Use a vaginal lubricant. Friction during sex can irritate the urethra.
4. Birth Control – What Works & What Doesn’t
Don’t go on what worked for your sister, or aunt, or cousin,…or friend! Ask the doctor and also discuss possible options with your soon to be better half. This one is a joint decision after all. Some birth control methods might not suit your body, some lead to reduced sex drive, allergies, or other symptoms that might not suit you. So pick what’s right for your body and relationship.
Consider an appropriate form of birth control. If you’re prone to UTIs, you may want to avoid using a diaphragm or spermicide as your form of pregnancy prevention. These can introduce bacteria into the area and can kill off healthy bacteria that keep the problem germs in check.
5. Planning To get Pregnant Soon?
Sex is usually safe during pregnancy, but you are more likely to get infections like UTIs during this time. So it’s even more important to take care of the basics after sex — pee afterwards, wash around your vagina and drink water. Encourage your partner to do the same.
Having children is a huge life decision. While it involves multiple happy moments and bonding for you as a couple, it is also one of the most challenging stages in a relationship. The decision to become parents must be one you and your partner enter into together in order to share responsibilities and love!
6. Plan Your Family Time & Me Time
While this might sound very obvious, but entering into a marital relationship means juggling in-laws, your own family, friends, your work (if you work) and your better half. All of a sudden, you are neck-deep in family meetups and trying hard to please everyone in the limited 24 hours you have. No wonder many people call out to you to complain: You have changed after marriage, or, we don’t see you anymore!
Planning might be your best friend during married life, at least planning time for yourself might help you get through this beautiful life-changing event called marriage with a smooth leap to the other side, rather than a fearful dive into the unknown!