I loved my father, my Abbu!! But I had little time with him, as he passed away when I was just a teenager. What he taught, however, has stayed with me. So here are 4 things I learned from my dearest father.
1. Ignore The Chatter And Focus On Your Goals
Abbu completed his education at the famous Aligarh Muslim University. So he wanted his kids to go for higher education, at renowned schools, as well. He bought our family home far away from relatives!! The reason was he did not want his kids, distracted from their studies. He even got my Ammi to complete her studies when she was already a mom to 2.
I was not born then but I can almost imagine the tension in the house! Imagine having to rock a baby to sleep while under pressure (from Guess Who?) to study for an exam!! All said and done, my father’s extreme dedication paid off! My parents, in heaven, must be very proud of their 5 kids’ scholarly & career achievements.
2. Log Kiya Kahenge Is Not Important
Not the one to discriminate between his son and daughters, my father was ahead of his times. He encouraged my sister Yasmeen to major in mathematics, pushed her to interview at “SUPARCO” which she aced, and was totally cool with my career choice to be an engineer. When I see so many of our desi folks, pushing their daughters into traditional stereotypical career choices, irrespective of their daughters’ interest, I feel frustrated.
By the time, I enrolled into NED, my father had passed away. So he was not there to see me graduate, as an engineer. My mother took my father’s advice, to the next level and helped me to choose Computer Systems, as my main discipline. Guess, my father’s strict guidance towards her own schooling, helped her guide me!
3. Touch Others’ Lives With Good Intentions And Acts Of Kindness
My father helped people, without looking like he was doing anything. When he found a good housing deal and bought our family home, he made sure to get others, on that deal as well. Humble and content with his lot in life, I never saw him competing or envying others’ good fortunes.
4. Teach others through your actions, not your words
My father led by example, so I don’t remember, long “do and don’t speeches” from him. All I remember about him is everything that I have seen him doing. Whether it was his thoroughness with which he filled out my application forms in school, his career at the Meteorological Department, his acts of kindness or how he connected with God through his prayers, I remember, all he did and nothing he preached. My brother and sisters followed suit and are leading equally balanced and well-rounded lives. Like father, like son is a well known saying. Fathers, who lead by example, always have children, who reflect this success and balance in their own lives. Think of Ali Abbas, the famous son of the renowned actor, Wasim Abbas.
To sum it up
In conclusion, I miss my father a lot but at the same time, I remain immensely indebted to him. We have became successful, emancipated, happy and independent adults today because of the critical life lessons that my dad and my mom have taught us. So remember to always show mercy, keep your goals in sharp focus and never mind what others are saying about you!!
Letting My Father Go!
Lubna Zia is Director, Portfolio and RPA at a large multimedia company in New York. She loves writing, baking, coaching, gardening and along with her husband, travelling around the world. She has also edited a travelogue on Dubai, by Sher Azam available @ Amazon, by the name of “DUBAI, No Problem : Maafi Mushkil“. She has grown up watching Pakistani dramas and that’s why she is here @ FUCHSIA!
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