Model turned actress, Sadaf Kanwal, recently appeared on a talk show, ‘Hamare Mehmaan’ on ARY Digital with husband Shehroz Sabzwari. Post interview, her statements on feminism, Aurat march and roles in marriage have divided Twitter. Some support her while others go completely against her notion. Here’s what she said, followed by awaam ke khayalaat aur hamare khayalaat.
Sadaf Kanwal has taken Twitter by storm with her latest interview that called out “liberal” feminism and stated how ‘our husbands are our culture.’ This has, for obvious reasons, sparked a debate on Twitter. The model went on to state that being a wife, she has to take care of her husband, do chores for him and keep his things in order. According to her, it’s important that she knows her husband better than he knows her.
Many have said, rightfully so, that her ideas support the patriarchal and misogynistic schools of thought, where the husband dominates the household and the wife is submissive.
Sadaf went on to say that modern-day feminism and the whole Aurat March are there to increase and promote the idea of “liberal” feminism in society. She believes that the preset traditional roles are the sole way a marriage can work.
Why Her Statements Are Problematic?
The problem lies here, patriarchal views such as these, are harmful to those women who are in abusive, toxic marriages. At times, these views and thoughts can go on to ruin a girl’s life even if she follows all the rules and norms society has set for her.
Secondly, each relationship has its own dynamics. No two relationships are the same. At times, if both the partners are working, they may divide household chores to manage things. One might cook, while the other irons. One may go grocery shopping while the other stays home. Similarly, if it’s a housewife and a working husband, and vice versa, the chores may be divided too. Each household has a different set of rules and mantras that families live by. Imposing a mindset on a relationship that works for you might not necessarily work for someone who hails from a totally different socio-economic background – hence the backlash.
In a country where women have been physically abused because the food they provided on the table wasn’t served up warm enough, or not to the liking of the man’s taste buds, we are walking a tight rope on public statements on women’s lib.
Now, coming to the feminist and the Aurat march notions, they were based on the basis to help oppressed women, those in abusive relationships. These movements work towards breaking down patriarchal barriers and give a ray of hope to those who need it. So, questioning or contemplating them and even misinterpreting them is not okay. Background research is always needed.
Tweets Standing Against the Comments:
Those In Favor. Shocking
The support for these views is alarming as people are not realising how hard it will be for many women who face domestic violence despite trying to please their husbands and in-laws in very oppressive households.
Lastly, it might be fair to point out that perhaps media houses should refrain from asking personal questions from their guests. What Sadaf Kanwal does inside her home, and her relationship dynamics with her husband should not be a topic for public discussion, that said, perhaps celebrities like Sadaf can also refrain from responding to questions that might gaslight Twitter into backlash mode!
We, along with many others, thought that this mindset was subsiding in the modern world. But the bitter reality is that patriarchy and misogyny still exists in Pakistan today. Online campaigns, petitions have to an extent helped women evolve, be independent, step out of their homes, breaking societal and patriarchal norms but the road is still long and full of obstacles.
