Remember the shaadi ads that called out for 20 year old young girls for an established 30 something parha likha larka? Well this one’s doing things differently!
Take a look at this!
Most Pakistani men will not respond to this viral matrimonial advertisement and it is not just because we are being patriotic. We are also not looking to do another Veer Zara or Dhoop Ki Dewar.
Infact, this is not the only reason why Pakistani men or their moms will not consider this Ad. The list of reasons, sadly, is all about our hang-ups related to Shaadi and the women, whom we consider marriage material or not. Psst…the digestive tract issues mentioned also significantly cut down the number of eligible applicants by half. Men on either side of the border could do with consuming more isphighol ki bhoosi. It can help with the burps and… you know.
1. Larkee Is 30+
Obviously, our culture did not get the memo that 40 is the new 30 or 30 is the new 20…Yo, 30 is too old, after all, she needs to be at least 5-10 years younger than her husband. But the question is why? Hope we all remember those ads in Pakistani newspapers where the girl is always in her 20s. Maybe they need to have children in their younger years is the driving force. However, we need to remember that the world has changed. We are mostly, not living on farmlands anymore and don’t have the burning need to reproduce enough farmhands.
These days, many men and women are marrying for companionship, more than for having children. Let’s also not forget that women these days are having kids in their 30s, 40s, even later, thanks to advancements in fertility treatments (IVF etc.). Marry the first guy & have kids early or wait for the “one” and have kids later?
2. Larkee Is Asking For The Husband To Be Younger *Gasp*
If # 1 was not bad enough, our larkee is hell-bent on breaking all our Shaadi stereotypes. Younger husband? No Way! Btw, this doesn’t just happen in our culture but is quite common all over the world. However, the pairing of a much older man with a much younger woman is considered nothing special to write home about. “Yawn”.
On the contrary, a much older woman with a younger man gets tongues wagging faster than your FoodPanda order. Consider the French President’s wife Brigette Macron, who is 25 years older than her husband.
Calling all desi aunties & uncles! Looking for a rishta for your chaand sa beta…are you paying attention?
3. Our Girl Is Turning The Tables On The “Demanding” Susral
Drama after drama, story after story, in our culture, Shaadi is about susrals who want everything plus the girl. Infact, it feels as if the girl is an accessory here instead of the jahez, bangla, car, etc. It boils down to the troubling (man-made?) narrative that there are not enough rishtas, let alone good ones. So the girl’s family will do whatever it takes, to get the girl married off, to any “suitable” man and any susral, in spite of their demands aka “greed”? Our larkees and their families, seem to suffer, from seriously low self-esteem and low stock value in a “market” where boys always appear to have more value.
4. Looking For A Handsome & Well-built Boy!!!
This is where, the South Asian internet probably exploded. Our opinionated desi she-jee with short hair and “piercings” has the audacity to want to judge a boy even before, the boy and his kumba gets to see the ageless but troubling, tea trolley show. You mean, there is a chance that the boy and his family can get rejected, based on looks??
All the ladies, who had to sit and be judged like livestock, take heart!! Now you can do the same. Follow our gutsy heroine and say no to a guy who does not please your eye! If there are aunties and uncles who are energetically protesting “what’s in a guy’s looks?”, the answer is a whole lot. It’s chemistry over suitability….isn’t it?
5. The Husband Should Know Cooking?? Seriously…
Our girl here is demanding all that the larkay walay have always felt entitled to expect. But then she had the gall to add “cooking” to the desired skillset for her future husband. How dare she? I can hear the larkay walay and their families roaring from all corners of South Asia. Who does she think she is? May I dare suggest a girl who knows what she wants and more importantly, knows she deserves better…
Think of the following sumptuous fantasies…
- A delicious breakfast prepared and brought to you in bed, by dear husband…
- A romantic 4 course dinner made on Valentine’s day by hubby…Ok, ok maybe start with 1 course and work our way up, shall we?
Oh wait, darling “patee” is complaining that the chapatis are not warm enough and the salan does not have enough masala.!! *Sigh* back to the desi reality with a thud…
In short, this Indian Shaadi Ad went viral for all the right reasons. It exposed the numerous ways, we do wrong by our girls who are looking to get married in our deeply patriarchal society. This is not to say, that we don’t have men and susrals who treat ladies, wives and daughters in law, the very opposite of this – with love, support, respect! We absolutely do!
Our hope and prayers are that such men can be found in increasing numbers so that we don’t have toxic Shaadi Ads looking for the “perfect” bride anymore. Rather, our men should focus on becoming better human beings! In the meantime, curb your patriarchy and insolence, please!
